chRONicles: The Mole Rat Cometh
by Samurai Crunchbird
Summary: The sixth 'ch.RON.icle' of the group. Oh, sure...You've heard the Rap...You've watched 'A Sitch in Time' at least a dozen times...But HERE is the TRUE story about the day Ron met Rufus. ...Complete...


_**My standard KP disclaimer:**_

I know Disney owns "Kim Possible"...lock, stock, and Rufus.

If they want to sue me, they have to get behind all my other creditors.

Since I am in south Florida, the line has formed to the right

…and goes all the way to Sacramento!

**_If a name has an ®, I own it. If it doesn't, I don't!_**

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_**Opening notes:**_

**1)** Well, folks…this is the sixth story in the _'ch-__**RON**__-icles'_ group. These tales previously featured Ron Stoppable in many of his everyday adventures before he began joining 'you know who' on her missions.

This one is _**technically**_ in that range as well…but it comes awful close!

**2)** _At first, I planned on introducing my new '**KP**arody' group of stories this weekend, with my last two 'ch-**RON**-icles' being posted in two week intervals after that. The '**KP**arody' group would have been used to usher in my second year in FanFiction, and potentially guide the direction of my future writings._

_The first '**KP**arody' centered around a parody of a familiar camping song, wrapped around a look at Ron's experiences at Camp Wannaweep. That changed with news of a recent tornado which killed four Boy Scouts as it ripped through Camp Little Sioux. Three of those Scouts hailed from my hometown of Omaha, Nebraska. Many others Scouts from western Iowa and eastern Nebraska took immediate action and utilized their training to keep more people, including nearby residents, from getting killed in this tragic event._

_In addition to Camp Little Sioux, many other Scouts in both regions go to Camp Cedars, about 50 miles north-northwest of Omaha, just outside of Fremont, Nebraska. I had the honor of teaching archery at Camp Cedars, giving dozens of Scouts the opportunity to earn their merit badges in that sport. While each group of Scouts stayed there for a week, I was teaching for the whole summer._

_**It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my entire life; and I would not trade it for anything.**_

_While we in this category write about a teenage hero saving the world many times over, the Scouts who risked their own lives to save others are the true heroes._

**3)** This is the last time I will promote _'When Heroes Fall'_ by _**snapbang**_. That is because he has finally brought that _'**T-rated**'_ saga to a triumphant conclusion. I encourage you to take a look at how far it has come from its humble beginnings...That is, _**after**_ you are done here! For now, let's just sit back and…

**Enjoy the show!**

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'_ch-__**RON**__-icles:__** The Mole Rat Cometh'**_

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…_For Smokey. I will miss you always…_

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…_**Friendship**_…That single word can mean a lot of different things to people, young and old.

For some, _**Friendship**_ is a grudging respect for one another, perhaps a loose alliance with one's co-workers.

For others, _**Friendship**_ is the camaraderie that comes with participating in a sports team or surviving a harrowing experience.

For others still, _**Friendship**_ is the seed from which a loving and long-lasting relationship could bloom.

…One fateful day, _**Friendship**_ forever altered the life's course of one soon-to-be high-school freshman in particular…

…_**Ron Stoppable.**_

…A week before he was set to begin his long and storied journey at Middleton High School, he and his mother, Jean, set out on another 'back-to-school' trip to Smarty Mart. Of course, Ron didn't have the heart to tell Jean that going shopping with one's parents for school clothes at a discount store was _**not**_ the way to begin high school with any hopes of becoming popular sometime before one's third year in _**college!**_

Ron truly understood this feeling when his mother found a 'close-out' sale on boys cargo pants, in both charcoal-gray and khaki, for 'A dollar ninety-eight a pair'. She also discovered red-and-black jerseys for two bucks each, along with black mock-turtleneck shirts for five dollars—not per shirt…five dollars for _**all**_ of them!

Three years earlier, Ron made the mistake of saying he liked the red-and-black color scheme. Since she thought _**every**_ color went with khaki and charcoal-gray, Jean bought every jersey, mock-turtleneck shirt, and pair of cargo pants that were his size or larger.

Even though his new school's colors would be purple and yellow, Ronald Dean Stoppable knew he had just received his 'uniform' for all four years at Middleton High.

Requiring the strength of a herd of buffalo on anabolic steroids, Ron pushed the cart toward the registers. "_**Toward**_" was the key and operative term, as only three of the store's forty-two regular check-out lanes actually had cashiers.

The 'self check-out' lane was once again closed for repairs, adding even more frustration to the group of people waiting to pay for their purchases. Earlier in the day, it appeared that a pair of brown-haired twin boys tried to re-wire the station so it could make smoothies.

While she knew exactly what she was doing, Jean still gave a convincing act of absent-mindedness. Just before Ron's efforts actually got the cart into the check-out lane itself, she smacked her forehead and moaned, "Oh, that's _**right!**_ Ronnie, turn the cart around. We have to make _**one**_ more purchase."

From their position in the northeast corner of Smarty Mart, it seemed like an eternity before Ron was able to muscle the cart to Jean's intended destination, in the store's southwest corner. He began to notice numerous bags of food not intended for human consumption.

Ron's excitement was beginning to build. "Mom? Are we going where I _**think**_ we're going?"

Jean gave a knowing grin. "Well, Ronnie, you told us about that pet you found online yesterday. I heard it on good authority that Smarty Mart just got in a fresh shipment of them all the way from Kenya. Besides, we can use **_this_** register to pay for our items and get out of here sometime before you graduate…_with your __**doctorate!**_"

Ron whisked the cart down the last two aisles with renewed enthusiasm as he parked it inside the 'live pet' section. There, on a display table, sat a screened box, with over half a dozen pink rodents scurrying around a small tree. A sign above them read…

_**NAKED MOLE RATS**_

_Two dollars each_

_OR_

'_**Tree' for five dollars!**_

…Jean winced at the sign's 'tree' pun. Ron, on the other hand, took one look at the display and shouted, "_**BOO-YEAH!!**_"

At that pronouncement, the tiniest rodent of the group rose from its slumber, yawned, and stretched it arms. It took one look at the strange blond-haired creature staring at him, and flung himself as close to the creature as the screen would allow. Hitting the barrier a bit too quickly, the little guy held his head and spun once or twice before regaining his bearings. He quickly looked again at the blond creature, waved at it, and squeaked something similar to '_**Hi!**_'

Ron turned to Jean, pointed to the 'runt of the litter' who introduced himself, and pleaded, "This one, Mom…I want _this_ one!"

Jean gave Ron a worried look. "Son, are you _**sure**_ about that one? A lot of these others seem to be healthier. I'm not sure what kind of a chance he would have to even survive the trip home."

Apparently, the creature heard and…_**understood?**_...what Jean said. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn she heard the little critter beg, "_**Pweeeeze?**_"

In an instant, Ron unleashed a weapon previously inflicted upon him by Kim Possible, his best friend in the whole world. It was a tactic used to bring stone-hearted people to their knees for centuries, and was considered by many to be one of the most powerful and devastating weapons ever devised by the human race…

…It was more shameful than nerve gas…

…It was more radioactive than a nuclear warhead…

…It was more painful to watch than slow, meticulous torture…

…It was…_**'The Puppy-Dog Pout'!**_

Even more amazing than Ron's flawless use of such a weapon was its immediate and perfect duplication on the face of the potential pet. In tandem, they executed a maneuver once thought to only exist in legendary myth…

…'_**The **__**Double**__**-**__**Barreled**__** Puppy-Dog Pout'!!**_

Having faced many different trials and adversities in her life, _**Jean Marie Carson-Stoppable**_ was a woman of courage and determination.

Against hundreds of competitors, _**Jean Marie Carson**_ was a young woman who won the 1983 Colorado state championship in 'Individual Debate'.

Against pressure from her peers and 'The Food Chain', _**Jean Marie Stoppable (nee Carson)**_ was a woman who became Valedictorian of her graduating classes in both high school (as Jean Carson) _**AND**_ college (as Jean Stoppable).

Against a second, third, and even fourth opinion from top physicians in their field, _**Jean Marie Carson-Stoppable**_ was a woman who overcame a rare genetic disorder and astronomical odds to give birth to a healthy baby boy.

Against a system which valued the back-slapping antics of the 'Good Old Boys' network, _**Jean Marie Carson-Stoppable**_ was a woman who broke her industry's 'glass ceiling' by scratching and clawing her way to her newly-hired position as Director of Finance for a 'Moolah® 400' corporation.

Against a lone teenage boy and a hairless pink rodent with identical facial expressions, _**Jean Marie Carson-Stoppable**_ was a woman who…

…_**never stood a chance!!**_

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In appreciation for getting the pet he wanted, Ron made one of his 'extra-special' dinners. While his parents waited in the living room, they watched the local weather forecast on television…

"…_A band of strong thunderstorms is expected to cross the Tri-City area sometime tonight. A few of these storms can become quite severe, capable of producing heavy rain, dangerous lightning, high winds, and maybe a funnel cloud or two. Folks, if you don't have to be anywhere important, you may want to stay home tonight. You might also want to bring in your pets, as these storms could be quite dangerous for small animals…_"

Donald and Jean greatly enjoyed the feast prepared by Ron…Veal Parmesan with angel-hair pasta, all made from scratch. The newest addition to the family was even more appreciative of the wedge of aged Swiss placed before him. Despite his size, he devoured the whole wedge, along with four more, in just two bites each.

Once dinner was finished, it was 'Family Game Night' in the Stoppable household. With actions that astounded the man, woman, and boy in the room, the Naked Mole Rat soon picked up on the game they played and soundly trounced all three of them.

After a few hours of humiliation at the hands (rather, _paws_) of a hairless rodent, the family decided it was time for bed. Ron and his little pink friend, whom he had yet to name, used the bathroom at the same time. The diminutive creature utilized the bathroom sink as a shower while Ron occupied the larger, human version.

Ron even bought the rodent his own little towels and toothbrush. After all, there were times when, along with razor sharp claws, the front buck-teeth were a baby naked mole rat's only natural defense against predators. While there was no such danger at the Stoppable home, Ron intended to take the little guy wherever he went, in the confines of one of the roomy pockets of his practically endless supply of cargo pants his mother just purchased. This meant there was potential for contact with the neighbor's cats, stray animals, and the occasional hawk or owl from a nearby nature preserve.

For the first night, Ron cut one side of a cracker box and inserted some spare foam padding to form a bed for his new pet. He resolved to build something more comfortable in the morning…

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…True to its billing, the storm was intense. Although none of the potential funnel clouds formed, the winds, lightning, hail, and rain were all as strong as advertised.

Amidst all this meteorological turmoil, the young Naked Mole Rat woke up with a start. He knew something bad was going to happen to his new pet human—and he had to quickly get the boy to safety.

He tried to lift one of the boy's eyelids…then the other. He got no response.

'_Boy,'_ the rodent thought, _'this human of mine is even a heavier sleeper than __**ME!**__'_

In an instant, he remembered one of the shows he watched with his human on that square box that seemed to draw so much attention from the human family. Imitating the movements of the black-and-white dog named…Snoopy, Snippy, Snappy, something like that…the little pink rodent danced rapidly on the boy's head.

Once he successfully got the boy to move around on the bed, he pulled at the boy with all his might. No matter what the odds, that pink crusader was determined to get his human off that bed.

Finally, the boy wearily asked, "What is it, little guy? Is the storm getting to you?"

The valiant pink warrior tried to communicate his message to the boy as best he could, but still had trouble mastering more than a few squeaks here and there. He did, however, manage to write three words on a pad with a pencil…

"_**OFF…BED…NOW**_"

The boy knew the rodent watched as he wrote in his journal, but was amazed at the abilities of someone so young…without opposable thumbs, no less!

The boy took the note and sat up on his bed. The eyes of the rodent were growing wider with every second as he knew the danger was imminent.

The blonde boy asked, "Did you need a drink of water?"

The Naked Mole Rat nodded to the request. He really wasn't thirsty, but that didn't matter to him, just as long as it was something—_**anything**_—to immediately get his human off that bed and out of that room!

The boy gave a weak smile and acquiesced, "Okay, buddy. I'll get you a small cup." The four-legged pink protector quickly followed the boy out of the bedroom.

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Just after Ron closed his bedroom door on the way to get the water, a crashing sound was heard. The noise came from his room, and woke both parents in the process.

Donald and Jean rushed up to where Ron was standing, the door to his room still closed.

"Are you alright, Ronnie?" Jean screamed. "What's going on, here?"

Donald followed up that query with, "Why are you up this late, son?"

Ron answered both parents as honestly as he could. "My Naked Mole Rat said he needed some water, and I just got up to get it for him. I closed the door and heard the crash."

Donald stepped forward and opened the bedroom door. The storm's violent winds snapped a sizeable branch from a nearby tree and hurled it through Ron's window, coating his entire bed with jagged shards of broken glass.

That, in and of itself, would have been enough for most people to believe in miracles, if they hadn't done so before. What made it nearly Biblical in proportion was the placement of the branch. The pointed end of the branch pierced Ron's pillow…exactly where his head rested no more than _**three minutes**_ before the incident occurred!

Ron turned to the pink rodent and proclaimed, "My little buddy saved my life tonight!"

Jean noticed what Ron called the pet. "You mean you _**still**_ haven't named him yet?"

Donald agreed. "If he's going to be living in this household, he really _**should**_ have a decent name!"

Ron's face suddenly became solemn. "Mom, Dad…It's time to take yet another step in growing up. My pretend protector is no more, now that a real one has taken its place."

Jean began to realize Ron's track of thought with a hint of pride. "Ronnie, do you mean…"

Ron continued. "Yes, Mom, I do. Good-bye, Imaginary Rufus…" He lifted the hairless pink rodent high and declared, "…Hello, _**Rufus David Stoppable!!**_"

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_**Author's ending notes:**_

The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the _**constructive **_feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!!

Once more, _**Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! When you want to 'PM' me, it's ok!**_

Your friend in writing,

The Samurai Crunchbird®


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